Should I take the day off on August 19?
Sometimes I write to tell you things, but other times, like tonight, I need your advice.
August 19 is the date my mom passed away. (Is there actually a term for this “holiday”? The only one that seems right is deathiversary, but that’s pretty dark, even for me!) Anyway, for the past 7 years, I’ve always taken that day off from work. At first it was out of fear of breaking down at work, but later it became out of respect for my mom, my family, and myself.
Now, as August approaches, I’ve already begun anticipating the date. But today I thought, “It’s been 7 years, do I really still need to take the day off?”
I’m torn. Part of me likes my family’s tradition: My dad, brother, and I go to the cemetery and out to lunch (similar to what we did on my mom’s birthday). I also don’t subscribe to the idea that grief has a time limit. Although lately I’ve been curious about what joy I could find if grief did have a time limit, which I guess is the reason behind wanting to treat this August 19 – 7 years later – a little differently.
What do you think?